Kieran's Life In South Park
by SpongeFan257
Summary: Kieran is just an average 10-year-old boy, and has just recently moved into a quiet little mountain town called South Park. Nothing out of the ordinary here... Otherwise known as "SpongeFan257 Starring In South Park". I'm 10yrs old in this fic. Rated purely for language and other typical SP stuff. My POV. Read and Review!
1. Day 1 - August 30th

_Hey, guys. I'm writing yet another fic, disregarding the fact that I need to finish a bunch of other ones. Well, I'll say that the reason is due to the fact that I've had laptop troubles and I've recently gotten used to my new one._

_This is a POV story BTW. **MY POV!**_

_In order to respect privacy, I not included my family member's names, but instead replaced them with different names. And also I will not refer to myself as SpongeFan257, but as Kieran. But SpongeFan257 may appear in future chapters._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**SpongeFan257 Starring In… South Park**

Today I moved to South Park. But why we did I'll have no idea. My parents only said that they wanted to live in some quiet little mountain town, but when you have two sisters, aged seven and three, that's hardly the case. But really; why did we have to move to South Park, of all places? Not that I'm not a fan of the town, it's just… nothing actually seems to be happening. It's all too boring.

I'm at my desk in my new room. I'm probably grateful I get a room to myself, because my sisters are sharing a bedroom together. They never objected to the idea, but if I were one of them I would have. But they have some sister bond that I will never understand. I'm simply going through all my moving boxes while sitting on my office chair.

"Oh, Kieran!" Mom calls me from downstairs, "You doing OK?"

I groan, "Yes, Mom. Everything's fine." I seem to hiss the last word out of my mouth.

"Don't give me attitude, young man!" Mom scolded.

"Whatever," I mumble as I resume going through my box of pictures.

One of the pictures catches my eye; it's of me and my two best friends, or at least, until I moved. I'm nervous about making friends in this new location. What if the kids are different? I can't deal with that kind of pressure.

My seven-year-old sister Janet walks into my room. I swear, that bitch is a complete asshole. Why I haven't killed her yet is a marvel.

"Hey, Kieran!" she screeches with a smile. Sickening. "How you doing?"

"Get the HELL out of my room!" I bellow at her.

"No." she says with a smirk, "You can't tell me what to do!"

"Wanna try me?!"" I ask as I approach her. I'm quite tall for a ten-year-old, and she is a little shorter than average girls her age. I raise my fist as I stare at her angrily.

But still she won't budge, "You can't hit me! I'll just tell Mommy again!"

"Not if your mouth is sore you won't!" Instead of punching her, I decide to push her out of my room. She's a little heavy for her age, but still she's pretty easy to shove.

But then my other sister Anna walks over. Can this day get any worse?

"Mommy says you can't push me or Janet around, Kieran!" she states as-a-matter-of-factly. This child is the one I refer to as "jackass".

I turn my attention over to Anna, still keeping a hand on Janet's chest, "Oh, really?"

"Yeah!" God, the way she said that is annoying.

But then I turn my attention to the stairs, where my dad comes over to witness me pushing Janet while insulting Anna.

"Kieran, stop being rude to your sisters!" he demands.

"Why should I?" I mutter, but then look at him, "Janet came into my room without permission and Anna is being a smartass again!"

"Watch your mouth!" he says. Umm… did you pay attention to what I said BEFORE? Apparently, my foul mouth is "more important" than being pissed off by a bunch of brats.

"What the hell does that do with my situation?" I ask, because I actually do want an answer, "I'm stuck in this house until I finish unpacking and I'm stuck with these two morons. Why the hell should I have to be nice if I'm forced to be here?"

Dad only sighs. Don't know why _he's _sighing. I'm the one who's goddamn pissed! "Why don't I just go sort out your stuff while you make some friends with some kids down the road?"

I beam, "Really! Great!" I practically dash out the house and slam the door behind me. But now, who do I become friends with?

Luckily for me, I see a boy with blond hair walking along the road. He looks like he's my age, so I walk over to him.

"Ummm… hi." I say as he turns around.

"Hey there!" he greets in a cheerful tone. He seems to gaze upon the picket sign on my front lawn, that says SOLD, "Are you new to town?"

"Yeah, and I'm expected to go to the local elementary school on Monday, so uh… yeah, I'm new."

"Well, it's nice to meet you." He then offers his hand, "Name's Butters Stotch."

"Kieran." I respond as I shake his hand, "Nice to meet you."

"So, Kieran," Butters says as we start walking along the road, "What do you do for fun?"

I chuckle, as I look down at my shirt. My shirt has a picture of SpongeBob SquarePants on it, with a yellow background. I'm just a huge fan of SpongeBob, and nearly everything in the boxes in my room was something to do with the show. "Me? Ummm… I'm a collector…"

"Oh? What of?"

"SpongeBob merchandise." I simply say. Normally I'd let people slowly let on that I was a fan of SpongeBob, but now I'm in a new town I should at least try to be a little different.

"Cool!" I couldn't tell if he was just making me feel good about myself or really meant it, "I mean, er, I kinda collect too. I like gettin those Hello Kitty accessories you can get in the jewellry stores and places like that."

Ummm… I'm gonna just go with the latter option.

I shrug, "That's cool, I guess…" In all honesty, I'm wanting to tell him what I really think of his… strange hobby, but I don't wanna upset this guy. He seems pretty nice, and he didn't judge me, so judging him could kinda be unreasonable. I look on at the open road, and see that we're walking toward a shitty part of town. This area seemed rather rural, and only one house stood in the area. "Butters, where are we?"

"Oh, we're at my good friend Kenny's house." Butters smiles, "He's been feelin kinda poorly lately and I was going to come over and cheer him up."

I sigh. Butters is my only friend at the moment and he planned to do something at the moment, "Oh. I guess I'll just get back home."

I turn to leave, but Butters turns me around again to face him. OK, I did sorta willingly turn around just so he didn't have to hurt himself trying, "Wait! Why don't you visit with me? You're already here."

"Ummm…. I guess I could." I smile.

Butters then pulls on my arm and drags me to Kenny's front door. Even though I'm kind of shocked that someone could live here, in a shithole. He rings on the doorbell and waits.

"Kenny lives here?" I ask,

Butters chuckles for like the fifth time or so, "Of course, silly!"

The door opens, and me and Butters seem to be standing in front of a woman, who I am going to presume is Kenny's mother. She looks so filthy and unhygienic, like the rest of their little area. But even though she lives in such a crappy area she looks fairly happy, especially when she saw Butters. "Hello, Butters. You here to see Kenny?"

"Sure am, Mrs. McCormick!" Butters beams. McCormick… what an odd name.

"He's in his room." She steps aside, "But be quick. He still ain't feeling too good."

We quickly make our way around all the trash in the living room. It was kinda gross, but still different. How is someone able to live with crap on their floor? Even their TV looks pretty beaten up! Something smells like blood in here, but I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.

We then enter Kenny's room. Oh my god, it's worse in here than it was in the living room. Oh, well. It at least looks as if Kenny took care of it. On the wall were pictures of women you'd expect from a Playboy magazine. I guess Kenny's a perv. Speaking of him, I think I see him on the bed. Well, more like a torn out mattress. He's oddly wearing an orange parka indoors. Beside him is a little girl roughly around Janet's age and that I think may be his sister.

"Heya, Kenny. Hi, Karen." Butters greets warmly to the two.

"Hi, Butters." Karen also greets, "Since you're here I can go back to doing my hair." She then skips out of the room happily in a way that reminds me of Janet. I shiver in disgust before turning my attention to Kenny and Butters.

Butters puts a hand on Kenny's forehead. "How you feelin?"

"Like shit." Kenny groans. Go figure. But then he looks over at me. "Who's this kid? I've never seen him before."

"Kenny, this is Kieran. Kieran, this is Kenny." Butters looks over at me and Kenny simultaneously as he says our respective names. But he's still smiling, even though a good friend of his is sick.

"I don't get why I'm still sick," Kenny starts to explain something, "I mean, Clyde and Token were sick a week ago and now I'm sick. You don't think I caught it from them do you?"

Butters waves his hands around frantically as if to say no, "Don't worry too much. But you probably did, Ken. You need to take it easy for a little longer."

"But I was gonna play basketball with the guys this afternoon."

"I think you should stay here and get some rest, Kenny." I say to assist Butters.

"Yeah." Butters nods in agreement.

Kenny sighs, then turns over on his side, facing away from me and Butters, "Fine. But I'm not staying in this hellhole tomorrow."

I look over at Kenny, unsure of what I should say. I've never actually known what to do when someone was sick or ill or something. I then speak up, "You'll probably be better by then anyway."

Kenny turns back towards us. I guess he's not really mad or anything. "Thanks, Butters, for visiting me." He says to Butters, "And thanks too, Kieran. I'll be sure to talk to you when I don't feel like crap."

"Sure." I reply. At least he's gonna be better. Me and Butters turn and leave the room, "Bye, Kenny! It was fun meeting you!"

Now outside, me and Butters begin to walk along the neighborhood, "So, uh, Butters." I say, "What'd you normally do in South Park?"

Butters rubbing at his knuckles. I swear I've seen him do it several times. "Well, uh, I normally like hanging out with Kenny, but as you know he's not feeling so good, and when that happens I go hang out with the others."

"Others?"

"Yeah. Kenny usually hangs out with his best friends at Cartman's house, where we're going right now."

"Ah. I see." It is probably the perfect opportunity to make more friends. After all, if I can be friends with Butters and Kenny then who says it can't stop there?

* * *

Soon enough, me and Butters approach a green house, likely to be Cartman's. It looks like any other house in South Park, as I have not seen a house look any different around the neighborhood. Hell, I never saw a unique house when I was in the car! Unless you counted that bigass mansion that stands a little further up from here then there's no house that really is worth noting appearance.

Butters then rings the doorbell. "Cartman should be here with Kyle and Stan." he tells me.

"OK. You think I can be friends with them?" I ask, slightly nervous.

"You'll be fine. But you'll have to watch out for-"

Before Butters can tell me which boy I should watch out for, the door opens, revealing an obese kid around my age holding a Snickers bar in his hand. Judging by this fatass' pockets there are more bars waiting to be eaten. I feel partially disgusted at this guy, and I'm thinking that coming here was a bit of a mistake…

"Hey, Butters." The fatass greets.

"Hi Eric." Butters greets as well, before turning to me, "This is Cartman."

I smirk, "You never told me he was fat." I then fall on the ground laughing. Butters stares at me in question before entering while the fatso looks at me in anger.

"AY!" Cartman exclaims in offence. But how have I offended him? "I'm not fat, you son of a bitch! I'm big-boned!"

I raise myself from the ground, "Sure you are." I hold out my hand, "My name's Kieran. I'm the new kid around here. My parents let me leave the house earlier than they wanted because I bitched on about how I wanted to make some friends."

Cartman then gives me a sweet, sickening smile, "Oh, how nice of you!" But just when I think he's being nice his smile drops, "But you're not welcome here. Go back home."

"Cartman, let him in!" a voice cries from inside.

"But, I don't want to!" Cartman whines. Talk about a fat bitch.

"CARTMAN!" another voice from inside yells.

"FINE!" Cartman puts his arms in the air then jumps up and down as if he was having a tantrum. He then forced a smile on his face, "Won't you come in?"

"Sure." I smile back. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a smile… more like a smirk. I think Cartman's caught on with my expression, as he seems to want to hit me. I then kick him in the leg before dashing quickly to the couch, where I see two other guys playing video games.

"Hello?" I greet. They both seem to be focused on the video game. I guess I can relate.

But the one wearing the green hat pauses the game and gets off the couch, "Hey, dude."

"I'm Kieran, and I'm… ummm… new to the neighborhood…" I say slowly.

The green hat guy gives me a smile, "That's nice. You'll like it here." He then puts his hand out, "I'm Kyle Broflovski."

"Or as I like to call him, Jewboy." Cartman mutters with a smirk.

"Just shut up, Cartman." I retort. I may have met Cartman only a minute or so ago, but even that much time should be able to tell me that Cartman's just full of shit. "Or as I'm gonna call you, Fatass."

"AY!"

I shrug, "What? I didn't think 'Mama's Little Pumpkin would be as effective." I can see that the other kid on the couch is chuckling, and so is Kyle.

"Dude!" the other kid says, "That's so cool!" he gets off of the couch and reaches out to shake my other hand; me and Kyle were still shaking hands.

"It's nothing." I brush it off.

Then some lady walks into the room from the kitchen. I bet she's Cartman's mother. She's holding a tray of cookies, and passes them to Cartman, "Here you go my little pumpkin," I snicker, as do the others, except for Cartman himself, who's flipping us off. "I made you chocolate chip cookies for you and your friends!" But Cartman, holding the tray, turns away from his mom.

"Go to hell, mom." He grunts.

"Have fun, sweetie!" Huh, why did she not notice?

I look at the cookies on the tray Cartman's holding. They look really good. Something tells me that his mom's a really experienced cook… I sneakily try to grab a cookie for myself, as well as a few more for Stan, Kyle and Butters, and swiftly swipe four from the tray. Stan, Kyle and Butters all notice and stare at me, while Butters gasps. Only when Eric hears the gasp does he bother to notice that I took some cookies from his tray.

"AY!" Cartman yells, "Those are MY cookies!" he tries to snatch the cookies back by using the stubby paws he calls hands. Luckily, I manage to hold Cartman off long enough for Stan and Kyle to claim their cookies. Oddly, Butters didn't reach for one.

"Butters!" me and Cartman both call out.

"Take the cookie." I say, while Cartman's pulling at my shirt.

"But it belongs to Eric…" Butters cowers nervously. Can't blame him, because I always thought he was at least a little reserved. But Cartman made a grab for my hand. I successfully punch him away while Stan walks behind us for some reason.

"Take it!" I demand. Funny, because I never thought I'd be demanding my friends to do anything until later on. Oh well…

Kyle sighed, "For God's sake…" he takes ahold of the cookie and gives it to Butters, who accepts it thankfully yet nervously. The three of us then sit back down on the couch to eat our cookies.

"GODDAMNIT!" Cartman yells, but with a higher pitch, as if he was going to cry, "THAT WAS MY GODDAMN COOKIE YOU BASTARD!"

But suddenly, he leaps forward. But where Cartman was standing, Stan is standing, with his foot in the air. "FORE!" he shouts.

"You got what you deserved, Fatass." I smirk.

"Stan! You kicked me in the balls!" Cartman cries out. But that's odd. Wouldn't Stan have kick a layer (or layers) of fat?

"Shut up, Cartman." Stan says blankly.

* * *

An hour had passed, and we've been playing a little Singstar. Stan and Kyle are an amazing duo; probably the best of all of us. They were always getting all the notes on time. They both tell me that they're very good at Guitar Hero, and so have a little musical talent. Cartman's got decent vocals, I hate to admit. Butters is rather good with vocals too, but he seemed to only wanna dance to the music. I have to say that Butters has cool dance moves. As for me, I was a newcomer to the game, and was OK. I'm not a fan of singing but even I was pleased with winning one or two matches.

"Well, I better get home." Butters announces, "My parents will ground me if I go home late."

"Your parents ground you for everything, dude." Kyle dully mentions. Really? Poor Butters.

"Is that really true?" I ask. I am really in need of an answer.

"Yes." Butters nods,. That's a shame, "Once they grounded me because they said I look like a jackass."

"Did you pull a face?"

"No." he replies. Really? Mr. and Mrs. Stotch grounded their son because of his looks? Boy, what assholes.

"Wow." I get up from the couch, "Well, I'll be off as well. I've gotta get home or my mom will freak out."

"Why?" Cartman oddly asks.

I shrug, "I dunno, Fatass."

Stan chuckles under his breath to hide it from Cartman, and Kyle does the same.

"Later." I say as I wave and walk out of Cartman's house with Butters.

* * *

_Has anyone noticed that it's really long for a chapter of one of my stories?_

_And yes, I DO play Singstar._

_More coming soon!_


	2. Day 2 - August 31st (Morning)

_OK, I've decided that this story is only gonna have between 10-20 days of me in South Park. Mostly, this is since I don't want the story to drag on, and I have no idea how to write a month of being in South Park. All the drama is probably going to be near the end of the third-quarter of the story just to be safe._

_Anyway, here's the next day. BTW, this is of the morning and early afternoon; the evening and night parts of this day will be in the next chapter. I will warn you, I plan on adavncing even further at the beginning so everyone is prepared for the end. M'kay?_

_Please enjoy!_

* * *

Yesterday was great! I've managed to make friends really quickly here in South Park. They didn't judge me or anything- wait, what about Cartman? No, he doesn't count; he's just an asshole. It's rather odd that Stan and Kyle can stand him. And the fact that Butters seemed to defend Cartman last night has further questioned such logic. I'm looking forward to seeing them later on at the basketball court, and Kenny will be there too. But first I just have to get though breakfast with my sisters.

"So, Kieran," Mom begins as she sits down at the table, "Anna told me that you made some friends yesterday."

"That's right." I hiss as I give Anna a cold stare, clarifying that I'm pissed off at her. But being the little girl she is, she's smiling her ass off.

"How many?" Janet asks, just to annoy me.

"None of your business." I say as I put a spoon of cereal in my mouth. While I'm chewing I quietly mutter "Bitch.".

But Mom gives me a Mom-Look, "How many friends did you make?"

OK, there's Butters, Kenny, Kyle, Stan and Cartman. "Four and a half." No way Cartman's a whole friend.

"A half?" Mom asks.

"Yeah." I shrug, I really don't want to go through some stupid pointless conversation with my mother.

But luckily she only smiles, "That's great, dear. Now you're familiar with some of the kids when they come over for our housewarming party."

I choke slightly in surprise. "Housewarming party?"

Mom nods, "Yes, dear." When? What? Why? "We want you kids to feel like everyone is welcoming you to South Park, so we're having a party to get to know the neighbors."

"Alright." I have my final spoon of cereal before I jump out of my chair and put the bowl in the sink. "And I'm gonna see them right now." I look at my watch so I can acknowledge the time. Luckily, the guys are definitely at the basketball courts by now, which means I should meet them now.

"Bye, Kieran. And make sure that nothing bad happens like what happened in our old town." I'm honestly pissed off now she's mentioned that. It wasn't really something that I meant to do, but was an honest accident. At least no-one was hurt. I am really trying to move on and prevent it from happening again.

"Bye!" I slam the door as I exit my house. I'm so relieved to be away from them.

* * *

It takes me a while to find the courts, because I literally have no idea where everything is. I shouldn't be judged for this, like some people are when I ask them, because I only moved in yesterday. But I remember Kyle had given me his number from yesterday, so I take out my cell phone and dial it.

"Kyle?" I ask.

"_Hello Kieran. What's up?" _Kyle asks, _"I thought you were gonna meet us at the basketball court! Where the hell are you, dude?"_ He sounds rather concerned, even though I don't think he's added two and two together.

I intend on telling him, but then I hear someone on the other end saying to Kyle "He's new so he's probably lost.". It's Stan's voice. Of course, Kenny would not have known much about me due to me only seeing him briefly and it obviously couldn't be that son-of-a-bitch Cartman.

"_Sorry, dude. I forgot you were new." _Kyle apologizes. I tell him not to panic, and it's a honest mistake; I've only moved house this one time in my whole life, so I'm not really an expert with how it happens. _"Where are you at the moment?"_

I look around, to find myself standing outside a building called 'Tom's Rhinoplasty'. What the hell is a rhinoplasty? "I'm outside 'Tom's Rhinoplasty'." I then inform him.

"_Ooh, you're not too far or too lost." _Well, isn't that assuring… _"Keep going forward until you find the police station, then go down the road to your left and you should see a basketball court behind the community center."_

Thank God for people like Kyle. "Thanks, buddy." I thank, "Gotta go. Bye!" I put my phone away and walk along the road the way I was told. It's best not to run in case I'm going the wrong way.

* * *

Only three minutes later, I arrive at the court. As I predicted, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny are already here. Stan is also holding a basketball. I look around the court. It's fairly modern-looking for something that may have been here for years.

"Hey guys!" I greet.

"Hi, Kieran." Kyle greets.

"Hey, dude." Stan waves.

Kenny approaches me and offers his hand, "Let's do this greeting properly this time." I suppose we should, especially since we hadn't had a chance to talk properly yet. "Kenny McCormick. It's nice to meet you."

I shake his hand, "Hi, Kenny. Name's Kieran." I let go of his hand and put in behind my back, so I can rub it on my shirt to get rid of germs and such. "I take it you're feeling better?"

Kenny nods, to my relief. "Yeah. Only feeling a little sick here and there but other than that I feel so goddamn awesome." That's good.

I look over at Cartman and smirk, "Hey, Fatass!" I cry over to him, making a scene.

Cartman growls, and approaches me, "You think you're so funny, don't you?"

I'm slightly intimidated; Cartman may be fat, but in combat he could probably use that to his advantage. I move away slowly and stand with Kyle and Stan, "I'd say I am, yes."

"Leave him alone, Cartman." Stan demands without raising his voice. "He's new around here, so you shouldn't be rude to him."

Cartman scoffs. What the hell is so funny to him? "

"It's so clean around here." I mention.

"Sure is." Kyle nods, "They also clean it because tons of us use it. Besides, if it wasn't clean, I wouldn't be here." Smart and wise guy. Guess I wouldn't be here either if it was crawling with germs.

"So how are we playing?" I ask. I've never really played basketball before, but I have heard of a few games and such.

Stan is bouncing the basketball, "We're gonna play H.O.R.S.E." Ooh, I've heard of this game. I actually kinda like it, which is saying a lot, for I really dislike sports. " Do you know how to play, dude?"

"Of course!" I reply, "But why don't we play a longer version?"

Kyle turns his head, "What would that be?"

"C.A.R.T.M.A.N.S.A.F.A.T.A.S.S" I snicker as I spell it out. It's long and it's an insult. But while Stan, Kyle and Kenny immediately get it, Cartman appears to be figuring it out.

"Cartman's a…" he finally calculates it. The fact that it took him this long is funny in itself, but still doesn't seem very surprising. He gets in my face again, "Shut that shitty mouth, you son of a bitch!"

OK, I'm getting sick of his stupid, yet true, accusations "MAKE ME, FATASS!" I bellow at him. "IF _YOU _KEPT YOUR SHITTY MOUTH SHUT THEN I'D STOP INSULTING YOU ALL THE DAMN TIME!" I'm feeling as if I'm going to flame up at some point and attack Cartman with harsher things to say.

"Guys…" Kyle's voice trembles, as a tree catches fire. Good lord! I quickly calm down and

Kenny, who isn't paying attention to the tree, stares at me agape, "Dude…" Oh, god… Did I do something wrong? "No one new has ever yelled at Cartman within 24 hours before.

"Really," I say as Cartman starts bitching to nobody in particular about how I've been yelling at him. Smirking, I take this golden opportunity to take a picture on my phone. "This is so going on Facebook." Last night, I had told the guys about me having a Facebook page. Kyle and Kenny both accepted right away, and Cartman had only said he'd friend me just to see what I posted, which I guess is true. Stan doesn't have Facebook apparently, but Kyle told me last night that he just doesn't use it much because of some crazy dream.

Stan approached me, "Why not just show us right away?"

I shake my cell phone slightly, "Because then it's only between us." But really, it's just a way of trying to get him to use Facebook. "And why don't you use Facebook?"

Stan sighs, "Because I don't want to, dude. OK?"

"Still," I put a smile on my face, "You only have to check like once a day; that's probably enough to not get addicted."

Stan pinches the bridge of his nose. "I… I don't know, dude."

"I can't believe Kyle hasn't managed to convince you, considering that he told me that you guys are 'Super Best Friends' or something like that." Kyle's strong friendship is surely enough for Stan to do something, isn't it?

"Oh, so he told you?" he asks. Duh! Of course he would; we're all good friends. "You probably think it's gay, don't you?"

Where the hell did that come from? "What? No, I don't!" I actually don't. "I think it's nice that you guys are inseparable friends. It means that you'll stick with each other no matter what trouble you face." Does that make sense? It sounds better in my head.

"So… you don't think it's gay?"

"No. I don't see how being labelled 'Super Best Friends' can make you gay." It's probably just Cartman getting to Stan. "And to be honest, I've never really had a friend long enough to even call them my best friend. You two have probably known each other your whole lives, which makes the friendship special."

"Then would you like to be a Super Best Friend to me and Kyle?"

Wow. OK, that was very fast; it hasn't even been a day and already I'm somebody's Super Best Friend. "Cool! I sure would!" I answer quicker than I can think.

"Great!" Stan takes my wrist and walks over to Kyle, "Kieran just agreed to be our Super Best Friend!" Wait, he planned this?

"Really? Holy crap! That was a fast decision!" Kyle seems happy.

"Did you guys intend for this?" I ask.

Kyle and Stan both turn away from me nervously, "Kind of." Kyle answers. "We thought that you needed a best friend last night, and so here we are!"

I smile, regardless, "Well, thanks anyway." I then look over to the basketball than Stan had put down to talk to me. I pick it up, "Now, are we gonna play some H.O.R.S.E?"

Stan shakes his head, "No, dude. We're playing C.A.R.T.M.A.N.S.A.F.A.T.A.S.S!"

"AY!" Cartman exclaims, still throwing a tantrum quietly, "Shut up, Stan!"

Jokingly, I dagger at Cartman, "Nah, ah, ah!" Now he looks really pissed.

* * *

About two hours later, we're just about coming to an end of our game. It's only me, Kyle and Stan left. Kenny had lost most of the baskets at the beginning, and had managed to lose the last letter five minutes ago. Cartman had lost all his baskets immediately; he was going on about how the ball and net were both rigged just so he lost first, but we managed to shut him up before any more crap brewed in his mouth. Kyle has only "A.T.A.S.S", I have "A.S.S" and Stan has "F.A.T.A.S.S" left. It only takes Kyle seven more tries to get all the letters, and Stan takes eight turns to lose. I'm still standing, which is surprising; I guess I've won.

Stan gives me a high-five, and Kyle does as well with my other hand, "That was awesome, dude! Congrats!"

"Good job, Kieran!" Kenny also congratulates.

Cartman crosses his arms, "He cheated." Whatever, Fatass.

"Like I care about what you think, Fatass." I manage to say, using a smile to 'softly' give him the message.

"What should we do now?" Kenny asks. I nod, as I was actually gonna ask that.

"We could always play again." Kyle suggests.

"We could even lengthen the game a little more to be longer." Stan also suggests.

"And that would be?" I smirk, waiting for an answer in anticipation.

"C.A.R.T.M.A.N.I.S.A.S.O.R.E.L.O.S.E.R?" Kenny suggests before snickering, leading to Cartman smacking him round the head.

"Shut yer damn mouth, you goddamn savage!" Cartman retorts.

"Watch it, Fatass." I demand, "You shouldn't rip on Kenny for being poor. It's not cool and there's always time for the tables to turn."

Cartman scoffs, "You're talking shit." Excuse me?

"Listen to him, Fatass." Kenny says, rubbing at his cheek, "I could always get rich in the future or you could be poor."  
Cartman laughs, as if we were joking. "HA! That would NEVER happen!"

"Yes it could, you son-of-a-bitch!" I counter.

"You wanna bring it on, bitch?" Cartman asks angrily, "Cuz I'm ready to kick your ass all the way to Mexico!"

"I'll kick yours to London!" I retort.

"Like you could kick my ass to France, you skinny shrimp!"

"LONDON'S IN ENGLAND, DUMBASS!" I exclaim before a gush of wind suddenly blows Cartman away.

The wind calms down slightly, and Cartman gets up, grunting, "Fff!" he screeches in pain, but I have no remorse, "That hurt!"

"What happened?" Kyle asks me, Kenny and Stan quietly.

I can't take this anymore. I run out of the court and try to find my way home. The last thing I hear anyone say as I leave is Stan saying "You OK, Kieran?" in concern.

* * *

_For the record, I have never really played H.O.R.S.E in my life, but I think it sounds like a cool game. And yes, I am now Super Best Friends with Stan and Kyle. And the 'not having a Best Friend' part is slightly true, if you consider who I'm currently friends with, so..._

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Be sure to favorite/follow this story if you enjoyed it, and be sure to leave a review!_


	3. Day 2 - August 31st (Evening)

**_Hey. I've worked really hard to write this, especially since I'm addicted to looking around deviantART and making new deviations and such. You should check them out. Now this chapter contains some other POV stuff which is written in italics. So have fun reading!_**

* * *

Oh, my God. What just happened a while ago? Cartman's just being an asshole, so I shouldn't really fret about that. I really need to just get home, and luckily I'm right around the corner. I'm quickly dash back home, but I can hear faint footsteps behind me. I turn around to see Stan, Kyle and Kenny all chasing after me. Cartman isn't with them, but I really don't care. I look at the guys with tears in my eyes, but then quickly run home. I pound on the door and Mom lets me in.

"Hi, Sweetie, how'd it go?"

I ignore eye contact and continue running, into my bedroom. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I hear her ask.

"YES!" I yell back as I shut my bedroom door once I enter. I then lean against it and slide back down. "Everything's fine." I quietly say to nobody in particular.

I pull myself up off of the floor and frantically walk around the room in circles. "Oh, God. Jesus…" I sigh as I cover my face with my hands. Why? Why is this happening again? I don't want to do this? "Why…"

* * *

A few minutes later, I've calmed myself down, and I'm sitting against my bed. From up here, I can hear the front door open and then shut soon afterward. I hear a few familiar voices. And I think they're here for me…

Mom opens by bedroom door and walks in, and Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. So much for having my afternoon to myself. "Sweetie, you've got company. They say they wanna talk to you."

Cartman crosses his arms, "I don't care about this crying bitch." He states, much to my dismay.

"WELL, I DON'T WANT YOU HERE, FATASS!" I retaliate. Smooth… But I can feel it happening again. I should stop while I'm at it.

"Kieran…" Mom says. She probably just wants me to calm down.

"Where's the kitchen?" Cartman asks my mom, "I want some Cheesy Poofs."

He walks out of the room with Mom, "I believe we have a couple bags downstairs. Janet and Anna just love Cheesy Poofs. Come on, I'll get you some."

"Mom!" I whine, "Don't give HIM any of our snacks! He'll eat them all!"

"He will." Stan adds.

Mom's ignoring me, though. Now I want to kick Cartman's ass twice as hard.

Kyle comes over to me, "You OK, dude."

"I'm fine." I say before sniffling, "Why'd you ask?"

"Well, you're crying as if your dog died," Kenny answers. Not a very good comparison, for I hate dogs; I'd probably laugh my ass off if a dog died. "And you ran out on us."

"Oh." I sigh. "That." I didn't actually forget; I'm not that lucky. "Listen, I'm sorry about that, but-"

"Dude," Stan approached this time, "We know you're sorry, and we doubt you did on purpose. Even if you did, we'd know why anyway. But why? Why did you run away? That's what we wanna know."

OK, that's something I'm not able to contemplate in my head. I can't exactly tell them why, for it's something personal to me. But then again, these guys are like my friends, and Stan is my Super Best Friend, along with Kyle. Surely that means I can tell him, right? "I can't say."

"What? Why?" Kyle asks.

I already feel like crying again. I may have a mental disability that means I can't constantly feel emotions nor understand them, but that doesn't mean that I can't feel pain from not being able to tell people that care about me and vice versa. Life is such a bitch. This whole situation is a bitch. "I can't tell you. All I can say is that it's personal."

"But we're your Super Best Friends dude," Kyle says, gesturing to him and Stan. Not to Kenny, who I guess isn't a part of the Super Best Friend stuff.

"I can't…" I whisper loud enough for them all to hear, "I just… can't…"

"Do you want us to leave?" Kenny asks. I can tell he's uncomfortable just standing there, but honestly, I don't want them to leave, or I'd be stuck with my sisters.

"No, I'd like it if you stayed." I reply, and Kenny makes his way to my bed to sit down as a response.

"Alright then." Kyle begins, "What do you wanna do while we're here then?"

"We could play some video games…" I suggest. Actually, I'm hoping they'll say yes, because I know that they'd play video games after last night.

Stan gets up from sitting down next to me, "Great!" he starts to look around for something, "Where's the XBOX?"

"XBOX?" I ask. I haven't actually haven't used mine in years. "That's in Janet and Anna's room being used as a DVD player." I get up and make my way in front of my TV, which is bigger than the one in my sisters' room. "I have a PS2 right here that I've gotten back into playing. Wanna play?"

"Sure, dude." Kenny nods, "What games do you have?"

Oh, boy… "Well, um…" I stammer and rub at my knuckles like Butters does, "I have a couple SpongeBob games that I love to play…"

"What the hell is SpongeBob?" Stan asks, causing me to look at him as if he's committed a murder and only just told someone, "What?"

"SpongeBob is, like, the BEST cartoon I have ever watched, dude!" I exclaim, also gesturing to my several SpongeBob plush toys to give them an indication as to what I'm talking about.

Kenny looks over at the games on my shelf, "Hmm… most of these are only one player games, dude."

"I know…" I say, getting quieter as I go.

"Oh, wait. Here's one." Kenny then says, and I look over to find him holding my favorite game, which just so happens to be multiplayer, "This can have, like, four players."

Kyle goes over to Kenny and takes the game out of his hands, "'Lights Camera Pants'. Retarded name for a game."

How dare he! I gasp and snatch the game out of Kyle's hands, "I like the name, Kyle!" I declare in defense of the game.

Kyle puts his hands up beside him, "OK, OK! Jesus…"

"It's basically a game where we compete in several mini-games in order to get the role of a supervillain in a movie that comes up at the end of the game." I explain, "And on the way we play those mini-games in order to compete for other roles."

"I guess we'll try it, dude." Stan nodded. Yes!

* * *

I'm so happy right now. I've just stopped playing Lights Camera Pants with Stan, Kyle and Kenny after what seemed like three hours. Most of that time was Stan wanting to retry most of the mini-games as he declared that the game was "rigged" to let me win. Speaking of which, I won the game as Squidward Tentacles. Twice. I have to say that it was likely due to my experience with the game. Kenny, surprisingly, was pretty good too, as he nearly beat me on a majority of the mini-games as Plankton (only to suck eggs later on). Kyle, as SpongeBob SquarePants, was fairly bad at the mini-games, but not that bad compared to Stan, who, as Patrick Star, barely got enough points to even be considered for the roles. And as for Cartman, he left a while ago, after eating five or six packs of Cheesy Poofs. Now Mom has to go to the store. I did tell her…

"That game was awesome, dude!" Kenny exclaims.

I chuckle, "I know, right?"

Kyle huffs, and so does Stan, "I keep telling you, that game was rigged, dude."

Really? "No, it wasn't, Kyle." To be honest, Cartman threw them off-track when he told us that he was leaving, despite me saying that we were too busy to give a shit. But before he left he insulted Kyle, who retaliated while Stan tried to pull him away.

"It wasn't my fault you attacked Cartman." I deliberately avoid eye contact as I say this by picking slightly at my nails. I then point over to Kenny, "At least Kenny was smart enough not to do that. After all, you shouldn't let pricks distract you when gaming."

"How would you know?" Stan asked curiously, and not that I blame him either.

"Follow me." I request as I lead them out of my room and into Janet and Anna's room, where the two are playing with their grubby Disney Princess dolls. I only lead them to the door, and open it slightly to avoid any fuss, "I have these two retards living with me." I whisper, "And you saw them come in and interrupt us many times."

Kenny, from what I can see, is watching the girls with fascination, "Maybe Karen should come over and play with your sisters one day, Kieran."

"And maybe Ike should, too." Kyle adds.

I get away from the door, and make my way back to my own room, with the guys following, "Ike?" I ask Kyle.

"Kyle's little brother." Stan answers.

Kyle looks over at Stan and shrugs slightly, "Well, technically he's not, as he's adopted… and Canadian."

"How old?" I ask.

"Five years old." Kyle replies.

"Oh, they'll love 'im!" I beam as I grab my phone to text one of my old friends, "They'd just love to baby him!" I would love it if they didn't ask why.

"Really?" Kyle says, interested, "What do you know!" Oh, thank God!

"Yeah, and they'll be able to meet tomorrow!" I add as I send the text.

"What do you mean, 'tomorrow'?" Kenny asks, "Are you gonna arrange something?"

"God no!" I laugh, "Well, _I _don't have to. My parents are having a house-warming party tomorrow so we can get to know everyone in town!"

"We weren't told about that…" Stan states as he, Kyle and Kenny give each other nods.

"Eh, you'll probably be notified once you get home." I shrug as I open the reply text my old friend just sent me, which I chuckle at.

"What's so funny?" Kyle asks, causing me to look up.

"Oh, it's just something an old friend of mine sent me." I say, "And it's really funny too!"

"Really? What is it?"

"Just some music video parody by one of my favorite YouTubers." He's really, really funny.

"What YouTuber would that be?" Kenny asks.

"Mark Maker." I answer, "Only the KING of YouTube Parodies."

"Oh, him!" Kyle seems to say as if he knows who this guy is, "His parodies are classic!"

"Yeah," I nod, "Kinda makes me wanna do one myself." …I'm not joking when I say this. I hope they see I'm serious.

Stan scoffs, "You're not serious, right?" Someone sounds like a buzzkiller…

I hush him, " Yes. Yes I am, Stan."

At that moment Mom walks in, "Kieran, dear, I'll be preparing dinner in a minute. I think your friends should go home now so that they can have theirs." More buzzkill. Great(!)

Kyle, Stan and Kenny get up and get ready to leave, "Thanks for the great afternoon, Kieran." Kyle compliments.

"You're welcome, dude." I reply.

* * *

It only takes a few minutes for Stan, Kyle and Kenny to leave my home. I would have liked to have spent more time talking to them but I don't think Mom and Dad would approve of me having a sleepover just yet. Probably wait a few days for that. But right now Janet and Anna are pissing me off by asking me questions about Stan, Kyle and Kenny which annoy me while I'm trying to eat dinner.

"Can you two stop?" I ask as politely as I can.

Anna sticks her tongue out. Bitch. "No!"

"Why do you want to know about _my _friends?" I ask, "You have no right to know, especially since you're both little b-"

I slam my fork down on the table, but it was probably a little too loud, cuz Dad has turned around, "Stop it, Kieran!"

Why am I told off? "Why me?"

"You're the oldest, honey." Mom adds for Dad.

I've practically finished by the time I get rid of my anger, though. So I get up from the table and make my way to my room where I grab my laptop and check Facebook real quick. Kyle's posting a lot of stuff online, and Cartman's just spamming him by the looks of it with offensive comments and such. I quickly type up a post about my day and post it. I then close the laptop down and play video games for a while longer. But this time, I use my PS3.

* * *

I think I've only played for a few hours before Mom tells me to turn everything off and go to bed. I groan, but luckily I remember a post that Kyle posted, and with that I simply go to bed with no hesitation.

However, something strange catches my eye: a neatly placed pile of snow is sitting around my closet. I know Kenny, Stan and Kyle couldn't have put it there, and I certainly wouldn't. I don't know if Cartman would actually be willing to do such a childish prank. Mom and Dad are obviously not suspects and my sisters don't have the balls to do something like that, so that would mean… NO! This can't be good…

* * *

_Wandering the streets of South Park. Such a cold town when night falls upon it. Of course, that may just be me, since I'm only wearing a light blue shirt with the initials B.N as well as brown shorts and a pair of black sneakers. I smile as I jump across the rooftops, and make my way to the meeting point for fellow heroes like myself._

_I see a group of heroes making their way towards a green house, so I easily follow them without being noticed. But once they enter, I quickly make my way to the back of the house, and try to find a window to the basement. I believe the meeting point's down there, but how do I get there? I see that the snow may be the problem. Wait! II see something that looks like a window near the ground, but it's covered in snow. I uncover it to reveal it is indeed a window. I open it and jump in._

"_And so…" I hear one hero's voice say, before it stops, meaning that I have their attention._

"_Is this The Coon And Friends?" I ask._

"_Yes, it is." A hero wearing a question mark on his head,, "I'm Mysterion."_

"_I'm Toolshed." A hero wearing DIY equipment says._

"_The Human Kite." A hero wearing a kite says._

"_I'm Mosquito." A hero in mosquito get-up says._

"_I'm TopperWear. Nice to meet you." A hero wearing TopperWear parts says._

"_And I'm Mint-Berry Crunch!" A hero (I believe, anyway) greets with a smile._

_Mysterion approaches me, "And who are you?"_

"_Not important." I dismiss, "I'd like to join you."_

_The Human Kite looks at me questionably, "And why would that be?"_

_I contemplate on what to tell him, but I think I'll go with the truth, "I'm looking for someone. I believe he may be here. Not in this group of course, but…" I pause uncomfortably, "I need to stop him before it is too late."_

"_Is it the Coon?" Toolshed asks, "It's been a while since we last saw him cause havoc."_

"_What about Professor Chaos?" The Human Kite also asks, but TopperWear points over to a cage, where Professor Chaos, a villain wearing a tin foil helmet and a cape, is locked up._

"_I don't even know who either of those guys are." I say dully._

"_Will you guys let me out now?" Professor Chaos whimpers, "It's cold and dark, and there's no food around here."_

"_Eat your shit, Chaos." The Human Kite demands._

"_But, why?" Chaos groans._

"_Guys, just let him out." I demand._

_Mysterion looks at me as if he'll punch me, "We can't! Do you know nothing about superheroes? You don't let the bad guy escape!"_

"_But the way you're punishing him looks really abusive," I quickly counter, "And plus, it makes you guys look bad. You could at least give him some food."_

"_Regardless, he should be locked up."_

_I then inhale and bring my hand close to my mouth, with my palm touching my chin I blow, releasing a small flurry of snow into the atmosphere._

"_What the hell, dude?" The Human Kite exclaims as they all take cover. I, however, stay put._

_The flurry makes its way to the lock on the cell, freezing it._

"_That's your power?" TopperWear questions, "I thought you were just some pretend hero like most of us."_

"_MOST of you?" I ask in turn._

"_I have immortality, you see." Mysterion smirks, "And Mint-Berry over there has some queer mint and berry power."_

_I'm smirking now, "Oh, really? I bet my powers are cooler." To try and prove this, I raise my left hand. A ball of fire comes of it, and hits the frozen lock, predictably breaking it. Chaos is trembling in the furthest possible corner, doing his best to avoid the fire (and ice). I turn to Mysterion, and can see that I have satisfied both him and the others. "How about them apples, guys?"_

"_You're in!" Mysterion cheers, "You'd be great at taking down The Coon!"_

_Hold on a sec… "Wait, if this hero group is called 'The Coon And Friends', does that mean-"_

"_The Coon used to be the leader and a member, until the son of a bitch betrayed us and we kicked him out because he being a dick!" Mosquito explains._

"_But why call it 'The Coon And Friends' now?"_

_The Human Kite looks at me with a smile, "It pisses him off, and we like it. In fact, this is HIS house."_

"_Great revenge, says I." I chuckle. Who knew being a hero had benefits like this? Oh, wait…_

"_And who is it exactly that you're searching for, Unnamed Hero?" Mint-Berry Crunch asks me._

"_We'll get to that on a later date, but for now, I best be leaving." I climb up the available cardboard boxes and out of the basement window. "See you guys later!"_

"_Bye." They all wave._

_Well, this is great. I have my own allies. They may prove to be useful in the fight between good and evil. But the question is, will __**I **__have what it takes? After all, my number one enemy is probably the person I am closest to…_

* * *

**_Yay! The story's getting somewhere!  
Can anyone guess who Mark Maker is a parody of? He's a YouTuber, and if you know his parodies then you'll get it!  
And yes, I love Lights, Camera Pants!_**


	4. Day 3 - September 1st (Morning)

_Hello guys, and here's a new installment for this story. Sorry for the wait, but I'm on deviantART all the time and practically submitting a lot of artwork._

_I've decided to split this day in three parts, so this is the first. I hope it's good enough for you guys!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Ugh, today's the day of the housewarming party. Just kill me now. I mean sure, it's nice to meet all the other kids in South Park before me and my sisters go to school so we know who these people are, but do we really have to do it so soon? I spent a lot of the morning bitching to Mom about how I didn't want to see Cartman, but she shut me down by telling me that he's always welcome in our house. Obviously I had countered and argued that this was utter bullshit (not using such a word in front of my mother straightforward), but I guess that she didn't want to hear it, cuz I'm now in my bedroom as a punishment for talking back to my mother. What a good start…

I worrying look at my SpongeBob plush toys, focusing my attention to the one with starry eyes, "What'll happen if Cartman eats all the food?" I ask it, given the fact that I have noone else to talk to (correction: I do, but Janet and Anna are both too occupied in their little girl stuff to even understand me).

I doubt that he'll eat everything per say, I imagine the SpongeBob toy with a birthday hat reply, next to Star-Eyes SpongeBob.

"He MAY leave some of the food, let's hope…" I plead silently. Honestly, I won't eat any of the crap my family serves. Not that they're not good cooks (well, Dad is questionable), but I'm just not one to stuff myself like Cartman does. This is, in itself, a lie, as I am a huge chocolate fan, but they're serving stuff that's cooked, so I'll never go near those plates.

I pick up my cell phone and call up one of my old friends. I do owe them a call, given that I promised to keep in touch often. "Hey dude." I begin.

"_Hey, Kieran. How's life in your new town?" _he asks.

"Oh, it's going great!" I exclaim, "South Park is pretty cool for a quiet little mountain town so far. Sure, I've only been here two days and never actually been out much, but I've made a few nice friends."

"New friends? Already? School is two days away, so how'd you make friends so quickly?"

Oh, he can piss off, "Shut up, dude! Anyway, I met a kid called Butters and then he introduced me to his friends."

"How many he introduce you to?"

"Three and a half." I reply, still contemplating on counting Cartman as a whole.

"_Half?" _he asks, _"Kieran, are you being picky again?"_

Don't know where that came from, "Hell no!" I say, "That half is nothing more than a tubby son-of-a-bitch with a weight problem!"

"_Wouldn't he count as __**more **__than one person then?" _he adds as a joke, and a pretty good one at that.

"Haha." I laugh, even though it sounds pretty sarcastic to me, "That's classic, dude."

"Kieran! You've still gotta get ready!" Mom calls from the bottom of the stairs, making me not hear what my friend has to say.

"Sorry," I apologize, "I couldn't catch that cuz my mom was calling me again."

"What for this time?"

"Need to get ready for a housewarming party, so I can make more friends or something."

"_Ah," _he seemingly sighs, but possibly interested slightly, _"Don't let me ruin your fun, then. And make sure no matter how many friends you make, you keep in touch with me, and __**her**__ too."_

"I'll never ignore her, dude. She's the best friend in the world!" I ensure him, but hearing him sigh on the other end indicates that he's peeved with jealousy. "Bye!"

With that I turn off my cell phone and put it in my pocket. I walk over to the closet to try and pick out something nice to wear. I'm not gonna actually bother putting on a suit and tie or anything like that, cuz I'm too lazy and Cartman would be a bastard about it. I guess I'll just throw on a nice Simpsons shirt or something.

I put on a Simpsons shirt with Bart wearing tattoos on it, and this instantly reminds me to make my own shirt using my artwork. I'm meaning to use those deviantART pictures to make something useful, but I've never really had the time, especially since I've moved to South Park. Eh, probably wait til the mail is sorted out first.

"KIERAN!" Mom yells from downstairs, snapping me back into reality, "Come on! Pick your lazy ass up and get ready! God, you haven't even had breakfast yet!"

I know that. I basically woke up and went to use my laptop for like two hours before I went downstairs, using my tablet to do anything else. I never got the chance to have breakfast, but I intend to call it brunch so I don't have to eat anything else til dinner.

* * *

After I've had my breakfast (or brunch... whatever), I grab my cell phone from my room and text Kyle.

_You comin later? _I text.

A few seconds, he responds.

**Yp. Stan's also comin, and so are Kenny, Butters and Fatass.**

I laugh slightly, before asking where he is.

**Me and guys decided to hang out for a while. You wanna join?**

I sigh, and let him know I can't, or my mom will just bitch at me. Wish I could though; it would have been fun to insult Cartman.

**:-( Seeya later at the party then.**

I don't know if it's called a party, as it's just a bunch of adults deserting their kids in one room talking about things that they pretend to give a crap about, like gardening and shopping for groceries or whatever. As long as I get to have fun and hang out with my friends then I guess I don't mind or care what my parents do.

Ooh, I just got a text. It's not Kyle, though. But instead it's from Butters.

**Hey Kieran! :-)**

I don't recall giving him my number, though. That's the strange part, though. I reply by asking.

**Kenny gave it to me. That OK?**

I reply saying that it's fine, and that I'll see him later.

**Seeya there! And I've got a surprise for ya, too!**

He got me a present? My birthday was only less than a month ago, but I haven't told any of the guys my birthday yet, so I doubt it's a birthday present. It could be a housewarming gift like a little figurine or whatever. Oh, he's made me all excited!

Someone is knocking at the door, and I don't think we're expecting anyone to come round this early. I rush downstairs, hoping that Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Butters, or even Fatass has arrived early. I could use some company… other than my family, of course. "Who is it, Mom?" I ask at the bottom of the stairs, focusing my attention on the door.

"It's probably the Tucker family, Kieran. They told me they'd come early." Mom replies. Who are the Tuckers? "But didn't think they meant this early."

"Who are they?" I ask, as the doorbell rings, the Tuckers getting impatient.

"I met them yesterday while you were out." I give her a sceptical look, to which she adds, "I do leave this house, you know!"

"Yeah, yeah…" I wave my hand in her direction, brushing her off and turning my attention back to my phone, which I turn off so I can greet our guests.

When the door is open, I see myself looking at a kid my age wearing the most horrible hat that I've ever seen. I giggle slightly at how silly it looks, and the kid in turn give me the middle finger.

"Hey!" I exclaim, "How dare you!"

"You asked for it." He says in response.

"Kieran, these are the Tuckers, I believe." Mom assures me. Why she needs to is confusing me, but I'm not her, so I can't judge. "And my, what an ill-mannered child!"

"Sorry for our son Craig's attitude," Mrs. Tucker says, "He's always like this."

No shit, woman! "Hmm…" I say looking back at Craig, "Who the hell are you?"

"Can I enter first, shithead?" He replies, with a tone that tells me to punch him. But I don't.

"My name is KIERAN, you asshole!" I retort, but quiet enough for Mom not to hear me, "And you better keep your insults to yourself if you want to stay alive."

Unfortunately, I said that part too loud, "Kieran, sweetie, why don't you go take Craig to your room? And don't make any threats like that again!"

Craig seems to be hiding a grin of satisfaction as I lead him to my bedroom.

"So, uh, Craig…" I begin, not knowing how I could approach him, "What are you into?"

"Not much." He replies, "But as long I'm away from Stan Marsh and his lackeys then I'm game for any shit."

Stan? "Oh! I met Stan the other day!" I inform him.

Craig stops in the middle of the hallway, "You've already become friends with Marsh? Wow. Next you'll tell me that you're friends with Fatass."

"Well I kinda am…"

Craig looks pissed, "You shouldn't be friends with them! They're nothing but trouble!" He pokes my chest twice as he says that, giving me even more discomfort.

I turn on him, "They are nice people, dude! Well, not Cartman but you get the point."

"They once took my money and we ended up in Peru!" he yells, and I guess he's trying to win. He can see I'm being sceptical as he punches my arm slightly. Craig steps back and sighs, "How about you hang out with me and my gang for the day?"

More friends, and as long as I'm not pressured to stay with one of the two groups then I'm happy, "OK." I nod.

I finally get to open up my bedroom door and let Craig enter first, because he's so friendly(!) He takes me up on my offer and steps in quickly before I can stop him or shut him outside.

"You like SpongeBob?" Craig asks me with slight interest, looking at all my SpongeBob merchandise.

"Mm hm." I nod. Like I hate SpongeBob(!)

"Why?"

Oh, he did NOT just ask that question! "Why? Hmm…" I pace across the room, trying to figure out a way to explain my reason, "Well, he's funny, and the show's really good…"

"OK." Is Craig's response. Guess he doesn't care.

I walk over to Craig, "So, uhh…" I pause slightly, unaware of how he may respond to my question, "What do you like to do for fun, Craig?"

Craig stares at me blankly, "Whatever the hell I wanna do."

I smile slightly, as if by natural force, "That's nice."

"Kieran! Someone else is here!" Mom says, conveniently breaking the awkwardness of the current conversation.

I hurry down the stairs in excitement, and Craig follows reluctantly behind me. I see Butters standing in the doorway with his parents. They look like nice people, so maybe they're not as bad as he says they are. I notice that Butters is holding a gift wrapped in SpongeBob wrapping paper. That's so nice of him! I should really get something for him in return.

"Hey, Kieran!" he says cheerfully.

"Hi, Butters!" I wave slightly, feeling that the action is quite unnecessary considering we are inside. I point at the gift, "Whatcha got there?"

"Oh!" Butters hands me the present, "It's for you!"

"Isn't that sweet of your little friend, Kieran?" Mom asks me. Well, duh! Of course it's nice of him, woman! God, point out the obvious…

"If he doesn't like it Butters, you're grounded for a week." Mr. Stotch says to Butters, and a bit louder than he should at that.

Dad coughs in his fist to stop him from saying more, and Mom says, "Don't punish the child, Stephen. Kieran will love the gift, I'm sure."

I open the gift, and it appears to be a set of SpongeBob themed friendship bracelets. There's six of them, to be exact. I love them! I can give them to all my friends!

"Oh, Butters, they're lovely!" I exclaim, and give Butters a one armed hug.

"Aw, you're welcome buddy."

I hold out the Patrick bracelet, "Here. You can have one."

Butters looks at the accessory questionably, "Are you sure, Kieran?"

I look at him calmly and smile in reassurance, "Of course I'm sure, Butters. You are one of my friends, after all."

I turn to Craig, holding the Mr. Krabs bracelet, "Here, you can ha-"

But Craig slaps it out of my hand, "Get that faggy thing out of my sight." He snarls, "You wouldn't catch me in that!"

"You're just a pussy." I smirk as he looks at me angrily.

Mrs. Stotch looks over at my parents, and I watch her every move carefully, "I think our son has had a bad influence over your son." What the hell? No, he really doesn't.

Do I say this to them? Of course not! But before I could react, Mrs. Stotch's skirt appears to be forced into the air, covering her face. Me and Butters laugh to each other while she unsuccessfully attempts to pull her skirt back down.

"Holy crap! Why won't this go down?" she strains.

Mom turns to me with a neutral face, "Kieran, why don't you take Butters and Craig upstairs? We'll send all the other kids to your room when they get here."

"OK" I nod, and then I turn to the guys, "In the meantime, we can play on my PS3!"

Butters smiles happily, "Oh, boy!"

Craig groans, though, "Whatever. Let's go please."

* * *

_Well, this is basically Craig and Butters making their way into the party, and we've still got Tweek, Token, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Wendy and Bebe to go. They're going to all appear in the second part. The third part will be a continuation with more engagement with the characters._


	5. Day 3 - September 1st (Afternoon)

_Hey, everyone! It's , and I'm back with another Kieran's Life chapter after over a year of not publishing (or writing) anything for this fic._

_I've been seriously busy, as well as a little put off by all the multi-chapter WIPs I've yet to finish, including this very fic. That's why I've done a bunch of one-shots this year, but I seriously want to return to multi-chapter stuff, so I've spent a good chunk of time writing this._

_As it's been a year, the voice of the fic might change slightly, so bear with me here. I'd also like to thank those following this fic, who have been incredibly patient._

_Let's get on with it then, shall we?_

* * *

Because Craig won't just shut up for two seconds about leaving the scene, me, him and Butters make our way to my room again. I'm holding my remaining SpongeBob bracelets in one hand as Butters proudly strides with his on.

"Thanks for lettin' me keep this one, Kieran." Butters thanks me, "I didn't think you'd think I was your best friend yet…"

"Aw, c'mon Butters, of course you're my best friend!" I say as I wrap an arm around him, "And I have no reason to think otherwise, right?"

But I can hear Craig grunt from behind, "Are you fags done with all the girl talk?"

With what I can gather, I turn to him with a snarl of my own, "Why don't you just shut up for a minute? Do everybody else a favor, eh?"

"Only when you go fuck yourself." Craig retorts, nonchalantly.

I laugh sarcastically in response, though; I know something he doesn't, and thinking of this makes me laugh harder, "Oh, Craig, you really should just stop before I laugh my pants off!"  
"You can never be too careful, you know," Butters chimes in. Guess he wanted to say something.

"Indeed," I say in response. I'm probably lucky Craig doesn't press onward with the argument.

I open my bedroom door, to see Janet and Anna on my PS3, playing LittleBigPlanet. Who the hell let them in here? WHY are they in here?  
"Get OUT!" I demand, "You both know you can't be in here?"  
"Why not?" Anna counters, leaving me fuming, "Mommy says that we can be friends with the visitors, too, so you have to let us!"

"Go downstairs and make your own friends!" I command immediately, "I'm sure you'll find a kid your age to talk to!" Instantly, Karen comes to my mind, and hopefully she'll be coming along with Kenny. Neither girl listens to my order, though, and with my rage fueling me, I grab their wrists and pull them off of my bed, before shoving them out of my room and shutting the door (but in a manner that won't get my parents' attention.)

"God…" I mutter aloud, hoping one of the guys will listen, "Two sisters is a nightmare…"  
"Gosh, Kieran, I don't think you shoulda done that…" Butters warns me, rubbing at his wrists.

I sigh, "Trust me, Butters, they'll be fine."

"I didn't think you were capable of doing such a thing," Craig interjected, "You don't seem like that kind of guy, but I like it."

I look at Craig doubtfully, with only a lengthy "Thank you…?" coming out of me in response. Meanwhile, I can hear two sets of footsteps moving away from the door. Thank goodness for that…

A good half hour or so has passed, and all we've really done is play on my PS3 a little. Butters has been vastly fascinated in my SpongeBob collection, practically getting hyped up at the sight of all my plush toys perched in the corner of my room.

"Wow! You own a lot of SpongeBobs!" Butters compliments, "I have a Hello Kitty collection at home that you might like!"  
"Butters, that is so gay." Craig huffs as he stares at the screen, playing LittleBigPlanet, "Kieran doesn't want to see your collection." He then gets quieter, but I can hear him say under his breath, "But then again he's got a lot of SpongeBob stuff so he's not really any better…"

"I heard that." I say with gritted teeth, holding myself back from pouncing on him. I then turn to Butters, who's examining each of the plush toys, "And I'd love to see your collection, Butters!"

"You do?" Butters looks at me overjoyed, "Aw, that's awesome!"

"Hey, Kieran." A familiar voice calls out.

I turn around to find Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman approaching me, "Guys! Hey!"

"Dude…Butters and Craig?" Cartman snorts in disgust, "Awwww! This is so fucking lame, dude!"

"At least I'm not you, Fatass." Craig retorts in monotone.

I chuckle, "Gee, I'm guessing you guys don't-" I then catch sight of a much younger kid standing in the doorway, shying away. He doesn't…exactly look like kids his age; his mouth seems to be quite disconnected from the upper half of his head, "Who's this little guy?"

Kyle stands next to me, "This is Ike. My little brother."

"Ah." I nod, "Is there any reason he's hiding behind the door?"  
"None that I can think of."

Cartman smirks, "I could probably think of a reason."

"Shut up!" I hiss at him, before making my way to Ike and kneeling in front of him, reaching eye-level with him, "Hey there, Ike. I'm Kieran."

"Key-raan…" Ike repeats.

"Kyle's told me a lot about you, and it sounds like you're pretty awesome!" I say. I know I'm lying, as Kyle's not said much about him, but at least the 'awesome' part has meaning behind it.

Ike looks at me with what I'm guessing is a smile on his wide mouth, "Really?"

"Yeah."

Ike looks as if he's really happy, and makes his way in the room without hesitation. I then catch Janet and Anna watching me like a hawk from behind their own door. They're giggling to themselves, as they walk over to me, clearing wanting to play with Ike themselves.

"Kieran, can we-" Janet speaks, before I hush her, but Anna is quick to make her way in and talk to him. Once I see this, Janet takes off and bursts into my room as well.

"Hi, there, Ike!" Janet says, a little too close to his face. He's looking at her with caution.

"Come and play with us!" Anna adds as she and Janet take his hands and guides him to their room. Ike is looking at her cautiously as well, and he looks distraught as he's swept out of the room.

Kyle follows them, "Will he be OK?" he asks.

"Of course!" Janet smiles, "We're just gonna play Baby with him! It'll be fun!"

"I no wanna play!" Ike cries, but is promptly ignored as the girls drag him onward and shut the door.

"Kieran, what's Baby?" Kyle asks me.

I sigh, "It's basically where Anna acts like a baby and Janet pretends to be her mom. They play it all the damn time." I gesture for him to come back in and I shut the door, "Don't worry, though. He'll be fine. It's not like they've got special powers or anything…" With that, I immediately shut my mouth. I can't believe I just said that.

I can feel Kyle staring at me in confusion, but as if he does nonetheless get where I'm coming from, "Right…"

Then I'm reminded of something, "Oh! Lookie here…" I strut over to my desk and take the SpongeBob wristbands, and walk back over, "Butters got me some really cool SpongeBob wristbands, and, since you guys are my new friends and all, if you wanted to take one."

"Sure," Stan nods his head in agreement with Kyle and Kenny, "We'll wear one."

Cartman just huffs in disbelief, "Fags…"

I ignore him, as I give Kyle, Stan and Kenny the Gary, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs wristbands respectively. All that's left is a Sandy wristband.

"Yeah, that's OK, I didn't want a dumb wristband anyway…" Cartman says sarcastically, as if offended that he wasn't offered one. Serves him right, though.

"Did you want one, then, Fatass?"

"No, no…that's cool. I'm good. Thanks for asking." Hmm…Cartman sounds a little too dismissive, and I almost feel bad for him.

"Gee, Eric…" Butters turns away from my plush toys and gives Eric a look of sympathy, "If you want you could always share with me…"

"No thanks, you damn fag." Cartman then shoves Butters away, but fortunately Butters doesn't seem too fazed by this.

…and with that I think my pity for Cartman has gone.

"Hey do you have anything else to play?" Craig speaks up, "I'm kinda getting bored."

"Well, um, not necessarily, unless you wanna play Just Dance or something…" I reply as I gesture towards my PS3 games on the shelf nearby.

Craig gets up from the bed and walks over to the shelf, looking through my collection, "LittleBigPlanet 2, LittleBigPlanet 3, LittleBigPlanet Karting, a couple Just Dance games…you got anything good, like Call Of Duty?"

"Not really. I'm not really into playing anything like that myself. I have played them in the past, but…nah, it's not my thing."

"Kingdom Hearts remixes?" Craig reads aloud from the shelf, "OK, we're getting somewhere here…"

"You heard of it?" I ask hopefully, as I've yet to come across a fellow fan somewhere other than YouTube.

"Haven't played it, but yeah."

"Ooh, I should seriously let you play the games! They seriously pretty good!"

"Hey," an unfamiliar voice greets. I turn around to see four other kids in the doorway, that must've just got here. There's a blond-haired kid that's twitching constantly, a black boy, a girl wearing pink with black hair and a girl beside her with blond hair.

"Oh, hey there." I greet back, and make my way over to them. Gosh, it's starting to feel quite crowded in here! "I'm Kieran."

I extend my hand out for a handshake, and only the black boy actually shakes it, "Token," he says, giving me his name, I presume.

"I'm Tweek-GAH!" the twitchy blond boy greets while flinching.

"Wait…was that Tweekgah?" I try to repeat.

"No, his name's just Tweek." Token corrects me, "He's just a bit addicted to coffee is all."

"Heh." Cartman and Kenny chuckle, "A 'bit', sure…"

"GAH!" Tweek flinches again, this time seeming less of an accident and more of a response.

"I'm Wendy," the black-haired girl greets, "And this is Bebe."

"Hey there," Bebe smiles at me, as I notice her pupils go downward. Is she…doing what I think she is…?

"Ugh, Bebe!" Wendy mutters in disgust after Bebe says something quietly to her, "I don't care." I guess she was doing what I thought she was…

"Seriously?" Cartman suddenly exclaims, "We've got chicks in here now! Like what the fuck?"

"Hey, are you sexist by chance?" I immediately ask him.

"He's a sexist bastard to the goddamn core," Wendy muses aloud before she and Bebe share a laugh.

"Ooh, how bad is he?" I ask them with deep interest.

"He insulted my breast cancer presentation and continued to make a big joke out of it."

"Seriously?" I say in disbelief.

"Yeah!" Bebe nods, before giggling again, "But Wendy beat the shit out of him for that!" I suddenly start bursting into laughter, and I can sense Cartman turning red beside me. He storms up to my face and grabs my shirt, pinning me to the wall. OK…I'm starting to get scared now.

"Sure, she may beat me up, but I'm not scared of you…" Cartman threatens me.

"Cartman, let him go!" Token and Stan command, to no avail.

"Jesus Christ!" Tweek exclaims.

Luckily, Cartman is suddenly blasted away from me by a few meters. I catch my breath and stand my ground.

"What the hell was that…?" Kenny asks.

"I…don't know…" I struggle to say, with what needing to get some air inside me and all. I then pull myself together and smile again, "So, hey, who's up for a game of Blackjack?"

"Count us in!" Stan says, for himself, Kyle and Kenny.

"Sure, why not?" Wendy shrugs with Bebe.

"Yeah, we'll play." Token says, as Tweek twitches again and Craig shrugs.

"Great!" I say as I get out my cards from one of the drawers of my desk, "Let's get started!"

As we all get settled on the floor to play a nice game of Blackjack, I suddenly catch sight of a mysterious figure at the window. Well, at least I think I've seen something. Ugh, it's probably just me seeing things again…

* * *

A couple hours have passed, and wow, did we have some fun! It turned out that Butters and Tweek were new to the game, and so I had to teach them. I think at some point we got sick of Cartman changing the roles of the suits in the game for his own advantages (we all knew that he did know the actual rules though – he's not that stupid) and so I ended up having to kick him out (after getting in a heavy debate with my mother) and then we switched to UNO to prevent others from cheating as well. I didn't win any of the games, but goddamn it, I was so close!

"Bye Wendy!" I cry out as she leaves with her parents, "See you soon!" Most of the others have left already; the only ones here are Stan, Kyle, Ike and Butters, as our parents seem to have taken an instant liking to each other.

"Wendy's pretty nice." I say aloud to the others.

"Yeah, she sure is!" Butters gave a thumbs-up in response.

"Yeah…swell…" Stan says quietly. He seems almost saddened.

"What's wrong, Stan?" I ask as I pick up on his mood, "You seem a little out of it."

Kyle puts an arm around Stan, "Wendy and Stan used to date, but now they're broken up."

"Oh." I say, "I'm, uh…sorry about that. Why'd you two break up?"

"I think she just lost interest," Stan answered, "As did I."

Kyle huffed, "Like, seriously, you should get over it. You never actually went on proper dates with her anyway, so it's for the best, buddy."

"Yeah I guess so.."

"You'll probably find someone else, Stan," Butters chimes in.

"Yeah." I nod, "Someone who understands you for you and loves you no matter what happens."

"Stanley!" I hear Mrs. Marsh call out as she and Mr. Marsh walk in, "Come on, we better get home."

"Us too, boys," Mr. Broflovski says as he and Mrs. Broflovski walk in.

"And Butters," Mrs. Stotch adds when she and Mr. Stotch approach, "You best be ready as well."

"It's been nice talking to you!" Mom says, as Dad nods.

"You too!" Mrs. Broflovski smiles, "We should all arrange a morning out at the Tweak's Coffee Shop."

"Or a weekend fishing trip!" Mr. Marsh suggests, "And take the boys with us, you know, for quality father-son time."

Ugh! Fishing!? Really? "Well, that's interesting…" I manage to splutter out, but I'm sure Mom and Dad can see how disgusted I am by the suggestion.

"Indeed! We'll have to do it as soon as possible!" Mom beams, as she and Dad see everyone out, "Bye everyone!"

"Bye guys!" I wave as the guys head out, and they wave back.

"Well, that went well!" Mom says.

"Sure did." Dad nods, "And looks like everyone made friends today!"

"Yep!" I smile, before going back upstairs to bed. I'd stay up a little longer, but…argh, I'm so tired!

When I reach my bedroom, I walk over to my window to see if there's anything suspicious hanging around, but there turns out to be nothing there. I then hear a sudden whip of a cape, and turn to find a shadowy figure.

"I've found you."

His eyes stare coldly at me before he dashes past me and out of the window. In the moment, I'm not able to see where he's gone and if he's disappeared, but I know one thing: he's back.

* * *

_It's been a long day. Thank god it's finally nighttime in South Park._

_I make my way yet again to The Coon's house, where I find another Coon and Friends meeting taking place. This time, I see a picture of a familiar figure on the whiteboard, with a few annotations being made around it. Why…it's of me! How they've gotten that picture is beyond me! I don't remember seeing any cameras…_

_I make my way through the basement window and crash the meeting, "What is all this?" I ask with a smile on my face, "You guys planning a surprise party for me or somethin'?"_

_"You!" The Kite says, "You're back!"_

_"Of course!" I reply, "I did tell you I'll 'see you later'."_

_"What do you want from us?" Toolshed asks._

_"Yeah," Mysterion, head of this meeting, agrees, "You never told us last night. You just…showed up without warning!"_

_"Well, I did tell you last night, if I recall correctly, and it was that I want - no, need – to join you guys' band of heroes." I inform them, "Someone very dangerous and life-threatening had come back to haunt me and I can't face him alone again!"_

_"And tell us why we should help you?" TopperWear asks._

_"Because…you're the good guys, right?" I simply retort, "Look, I know you probably have your own shit to deal with, but I seriously need help. Normally, I'd just buck up and see to things myself, but I have faced off with this guy before. You have no idea how fucked up my life is with him being a part of it, and it is only because of that I ask of your assistance. So, please, can you help a guy out?"_

_All of the heroes look at each other as if to come to a conclusion. They take their time with this, as they pass the minute mark._

_"Sure. We'll help you out. It's not like we can't or anything." Mysterion finally announces._

_"Oh, that's wonderful!" I beam._

_"But first, you must tell us something." Mint-Berry Crunch interjects._

_"Sure, anything." I say. At this point, I am well and truly willing to do anything in return._

_"Give us your name."_

_"My name…?" I repeat, "Just my name…?"_

_"Well, sure, I guess." TopperWear replies, "No harm in that is there?"_

_No…I suppose there's not. And I guess it does makes sense anyway, as well as being the least I can do._

_"Brother Nature."_


End file.
